When to stop swaddling?

my girl is 8 months old and i still swaddle her. i have read this is bad. at night i have started to put her to sleep without it and last night she lasted 2 hours untill she woke up and i have to swaddle her because she wont sleep any other way. i have a comforter and she uses a pacifier. her first nap of the day is her best and she sleeps solid for 2 hours so i thought i would stop the swaddle today, i went and had a shower when i put her down and when i got out she was crying, i went and picked her up and she had blood in her ear from scratching it and a little clot, when i wiped it there is a small scratch but i'm not sure where the clot came from, also she has been shaking her head from side to side a few times for about a week and i read that it could be a phase or maybe an ear infection, i didn 't do anything because she hasn't been upset but now because of the ear we are going to the docs to see, sorry i have gone of track a bit here but i feel SOOOOO bad leaving her, but there is this pressure like if i swaddle her i'm a bad mum because she is too old but if i dont she gets so upset isn't that being a bad mum? so she is swaddled again and sleeping is there any tips on stopping swaddling i've tried one arm at a time or loose. thanks in advance.sorry so long